Little Green Friend

I went ahead and encrypted this so that not everyone had to read it.  It’s something I’ve been needing to say for a while.  I just wish I could say it to their face.  Honestly, I don’t think it would do any good any way.  Sometimes people are just beyond hope. 

I hope that everyone had a fantastic break.  We spent most of the week in Dallas. We had Thanksgiving with Amanda’s mom, got to babysit my beautiful niece, and just had a nice relaxing week.  I actually feel ready to get back to work tomorrow. 

So if you feel like reading the rant, go to http://www.rot13.com and paste the text below.  Otherwise, happy holidays!!

Lbh unir ab vqrn gung guvf vf qverpgrq ng lbh, naq lbh arire jvyy orpnhfr lbh qba’g unir n zlfcnpr cntr.  Ubarfgyl, V jvfu V pbhyq gryy lbh guvf gb lbhe snpr, ohg vg jbhyq pnhfr gbb znal ceboyrzf. 

V’z nfunzrq gb or eryngrq gb lbh.

Erzrzore jura V gbyq lbh gung V jnf trggvat gur wbo ng Tynqrjngre?  Lbh fnvq gung lbh sryg fbeel sbe zr orpnhfr vg jnf fhpu n ebhtu fpubby.  Ohg lbh pbhyqa’g whfg yrnir vg ng gung, pbhyq lbh?  Lbh unq gb guebj va gung vg jnf “orpnhfr bs nyy gur a**** xvqf.”  Lbh juvfcrerq vg gbb, rira gubhtu lbh jrer va n ebbz ragveryl shyy bs juvgr crbcyr.  Jul?  Vs lbh’er tbvat gb or n enpvfg juvgr genfu cvrpr bs fuvg, ng yrnfg unir gur onyyf gb or oyngnag nobhg vg! 

Lbh jnag gb xabj gur gehgu?  Gur xvqf jub tvir zr gur zbfg gebhoyr ng Tynqrjngre ner gur barf jub ner whfg yvxr lbh.  Yvggyr erqarpx fuvg sbe oenvaf jub guvax gung gurl ner orggre guna rirelbar ryfr whfg orpnhfr gurl’er juvgr.  Naq jub qb jr unir gb gunax sbe gung?  Crbcyr yvxr lbh.  Nyy V unir gb qb vf ybbx ng zl bja snzvyl gerr gb svaq crbcyr whfg yvxr gurz. 

Gura V unq gb fvg gurer naq yvfgra gb lbh gnyx nobhg gur snpg gung Bonzn jnf tbvat gb trg nffnfvangrq ol n “tbbq by obl”, naq lbh jrer npghnyyl unccl ng gur gubhtug bs vg.  Zl TBQ zna!  Qb lbh rira ernyvmr jung lbh ner fnlvat?  Lbh’er gnyxvat nobhg nabgure uhzna orvat’f yvsr–n zna jub unf qbar abguvat gb lbh rkprcg or oynpx naq jva gur ryrpgvba.

Lbh enggyr ba nobhg ubj gur pvgl vf trggvat jbefr naq jbefr orpnhfr bs gur oynpxf naq gur uvfcnavpf, naq lrg V qba’g frr lbh qbvat n shpxvat guvat gb znxr gur jbeyq n orggre cynpr.  Lbh fvg gurer naq fbnx va lbhe bja ungerq yvxr vg jrer n jnez ongu, naq gura lbh fcernq vg nebhaq.  Fgvyy, vg’f uvynevbhf gb yvfgra gb lbh enggyr ba nobhg Bonzn.  Lbh gnyx nobhg ubj hapuevfgvna ur vf, naq rira pynvz gung ur ungrf juvgr crbcyr…..lbh zbebavp ulcebpevgvpny nffubyr.  Crbcyr yvxr lbh ner unys gur ernfba gung crbcyr ynhtu ng Puevfgvnaf jura gurl gnyx, naq V pna bayl vzntvar jung Wrfhf uvzfrys jbhyq fnl gb lbh vs lbh zrg uvz. 

V’z npghnyyl rzoneenffrq gb jevgr guvf.  Qb lbh xabj jul? Vg’f orpnhfr V qba’g npghnyyl jnag gb npxabjyrqtr gung crbcyr yvxr lbh fgvyy rkvfg va guvf ntr, naq V qrsvavgryl qba’g jnag gb nqzvg gung V’z eryngrq gb gurz.  V nyfb ungr gung V pna’g gryy lbh guvf gb lbhe snpr, naq gung nyfb funzrf zr.  Nyy V pna qb vf or tengrshy gung V jnf envfrq ol cneragf jub qvqa’g guvax be gnyx gung jnl, naq V pna qb zl orfg gb znxr fher gung zl bja puvyqera arire ghea bhg gb or nalguvat yvxr lbh.  Tbq V pna’g jnvg gb svanyyl zbir.

   So because it’s been forever since the last time we went to see a movie, and Twilight was coming out, we decided to go to the theater as a family. Before you ask, I can’t speak for Twilight.  I didn’t see it. As Amanda was sitting in the theater watching the movie that she has been awaiting for months now, I took the girls to go see Bolt in 3-D.

         How was it?  Well, to paraphrase Rhino the Hamster, “It was awesome. It was beyond awesome.  It was beawesome!”  Granted, it wasn’t my absolute favorite Pixar film, but I still think they hit it out of the park with this one.  Disney/Pixar has really been doing well as of late.  There wasn’t any adult humor or throwaway lines that had become typical of Disney.  It was just a really great film.  Plus, not only was movie in 3-d, the previews were too. 

         Would it have been as good had it not been?  Almost.  I mean they still had all the classic components of a good Disney movie. Personally, Rhino was my favorite character, even if Caylie does disagree.  She’s on Team Bolt.

In short, if you see 3 Disney animated films that have come out in the past few years, I would go with Wall-E, Meet the Robinsons, and Bolt.

Sometimes, when you enter a specific career field, people somehow feel that it’s their right (based entirely on the fact that they know you)  to request favors of you.  When I got into computers, I had people coming up to me all the time asking me to help them with their PC’s.  When I was wearing a medical patch in the army, people would ask me medical questions.  Imagine their surprise when they found out I wasn’t a doctor. 

I don’t know why I thought it would be different when I got into the teaching field.  I guess I thought that since I didn’t have any peers who were teenagers that I wouldn’t have anyone I knew coming to me for math tutoring.  Well, I was half right. They didn’t come to me.

The facts are these:  Amanda’s boss’ wife came up to her and was carrying on a regular conversation.  At some point during the conversation, she asked Amanda, “What is it your husband teaches again?”  Amanda explained that I was a high school math teacher, and she said, “Huh….  Do you think that he might be willing to tutor me?”

Well, far be it from my wife to pimp me out, right?  (Anyone that believes that statement has obviously never met Amanda   )  Amanda told her that we would check my schedule and see when I was available, and that we could discuss “terms for services rendered” later. 

The next day, Amanda’s boss comes up to her and says, “My wife seems to think that she’s going to have Joe for a tutor.  I just wanted to make sure that he was going to be available.”  Amanda simply replied, “Don’t worry.  I’ll talk to him tonight, and we’ll figure out when he can do it.”  And so she did.  She talked to me tonight, and I (of course) said yes. 

Am I mad?  Nah.  She knows me.  Even if it were a person I couldn’t stand, I’d have done it if she asked me to.  That’s just the kind of guy I am-  a total yes man.  Obsequious to the core.  Am I capable of saying no?  I guess.  Why? Do you want me to?  ;-)   Plus, truth be told, I do it for the same reason that I always helped people on their computer problems.  I get a kick out of it.  I tell ya what though:  if she doesn’t show up to tutoring, she is sooo getting detention.

Yes, I realize it’s not even Thanksgiving yet.  Yes, I know you’re probably annoyed at the fact that all the decorations are already up in your local stores. 

But still…..

IT’S THE HOLIDAY SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next week, as soon as we get home from Thanksgiving in Dallas, the tree is going up!  Maybe sooner! Soon, it will be Christmas music all the time! The lights will be up!  Christmas specials on TV, and 3 flavored popcorn tins to be devoured.  I’ve gone “cold-turkey” off turkey (pun intended) so that I can stuff myself with it over the next month. It will be cold, and wonderful, and I’m absolutely pumped.  Yes, I still get this excited about the holidays.  Plus, this year, I’ll have the majority of it off.   It’s another reason why I love being a teacher.  

So I end with……..WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!

Just a word of warning, starting next week, most of my blog entries will be centered around this theme for a bit.  Just to let you know.

I think everyone has a list of things that they want to do before they leave this earth.  Some of them have already been crossed off, thankfully, but there’s a large number that I’m not sure if I’ll ever get to.  Quite a few of them require money, which sadly is one of the resources that I never seem to have enough of.  Others simply require the time or energy that I have, for some reason, been unable (or even unwilling to expend). 

Then there’s that small number that simply requires the opportunity.  We’re told from an early age that we can do anything that we put our mind to, but is that really true?   Aren’t there some things that just get denied, no matter how badly we want them?  If we could really have anything we want, even if it just meant trying hard enough, how much different would life be?  Would it be better? Worse? 

Then there’s the more painful question.  If I’m not meant to have it, or do it, then why do I want to?  I’m not talking about things that are wrong.  I’m simply wondering why it is that we are not designed to want the things that we are intended to have?  To paraphrase Sheryl Crow, “It isn’t about having what you want.  It’s wanting what you’ve got.”  Therein lies the problem.

So here’s a little list of things that I’d like to do.  Consider this an insight into me. These are in no particular order, except that I put them down in the order they popped into my head.  This isn’t an all inclusive list, and some of these are the less important items on the list.  Still, it’s a piece.

1.  Visit most of the rest of Europe.

2.  Get a job working for the DODDS Overseas Program.

3.  Be a contestant on a game show. 

4.  Write a book.

5.  Take the girls to Walt Disney World.

6.  Meet some of my favorite bands. 

7.  Go to Alaska.

8.  Try out for a movie role.

9.  Invent something.

10.  Design my own home and have it built.

I’m going to stop with 10, because that seems like a good number.  Besides, I’m tired now.  The only one of these that I’m actively pursuing is 2, so we’ll see how that works out.  (Although I keep promising myself that I’m going to send in an audition tape for “Don’t Forget The Lyrics.”)  Ah well, time to sleep.  Grading algebra tests wore me out today.  It’s amazing how testing the retention of 9th graders can really start to wear you down.  It probably goes a long way in explaining why I’m so pensive, too.

          After a fantastic weekend, I was feeling really good when I got to school today.  My first two classes went pretty well too.  I had to leave during third and fourth period to go to yet another meeting with the Region 7 representative.  (Oh how I love those)  I got a little frustrated when every single freshman class had at least half the class who had just neglected to do the homework I gave them, but I was still doing ok. 

          Then…..6th period came.  Typically this one of my best class periods.  I have a few troublemakers, but nothing serious.  Lately, however, they have just not been getting it.  At all.  Still, I don’t really mind the reteaching, and I can deal with the behavioral hiccups.  Today, however, one of them threw me a curve ball.  I saw her with her feet in her chair, hunkered down, messing with something.  My first thought was that she was texting and trying to hide her cell phone, so I walked up to her and asked her what she was doing.  She sat up, and that was when I saw the paint marker in her hand.

         I said, “What were you doing??”  She responded, “I was just writing on the back of my hand?”  When I asked then why there wasn’t even a dot on the back of her hand, she said, “I scratched it off.”   (If there really are teachers out there that are that naive, I fear for their kids.  I really do)  After I take the marker out of her hand, I see a half-finished note on her desk. 

“Hey girl! What’s up? Looks like everybody wants those ammonia pads that I had yesterday cuz u can sniff em and get high”

At that point she goes, “I wasn’t writing that during this period!”

………WTF??????????????????????????????

I gave her a major lecture out in the hallway at that point, took the pen down to the office, etc…  Still, it’s amazing to me how much they think we don’t know, or have never done.  What’s even scarier is that there are actually people out there to back up this stereotype of naive adults.  For example, my mom was telling me that the youth minister at her church was warning adults about a “new thing” that kids were doing……cutting themselves.

……..Wow…..

My mom, who God bless her is one of the most out of touch people in the known world looked at him and said, “That’s not new.  Kids are even doing that here.”  

Why do some people seem to think that ignorance is synonymous with righteousness?  I’m sorrry, but if we don’t know what we’re fighting against, how the hell are we supposed to fight it?

“No matter how big you get, the size of your funeral depends on the weather.”-  Roger Miller

“Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money.”- Johnny Cash

“I’d like just to be remembered as a guy that came along and did his music, did his best and showed up on time, clean and ready to do the job, wrote a few songs, and had a hell of a time.”  Buck Owens

““Pray for intestinal fortitude, work hard, and keep the faith. Oh, and pray for good luck, you’re gonna need it.”-  Jerry Reed

“The less you know, the more you think you know, because you don’t know you don’t know.”- Ray Stevens

“I never wanted to be famous. I only wanted to be great. “- Ray Charles

If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.”- Dolly Parton

“Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it.” – Danny Kaye

“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending. ” - Jim Henson

“I think the biggest problem in the world is that we have a generation of young people, and maybe two, who don’t think it’s going to get any better.” - John Denver

Picture, if you will, a pep rally.  High school students are sitting there while cheerleaders and dance squads perform.  The high school quarterback then announces that it is parent night, so to honor the parents, we’re going to have a performance of old school music, and he introduces “Joe and the Math Nerds!”

A set of double doors opens up, and all of the math teachers come out dressed in peace signs and 60’s gear.  A few seconds later, the door opens again, and out steps a young man dressed in the following:  a long black wig, sunglasses, a white shirt with a butterfly color and flower patterns, a red corduroy (sp?) jacket, and blue jeans.

He waves to the crowd, picks up the microphone, gets his signal from the cheerleaders that the cd has started, and then begins to sing the lyrics to Shout!

Students and teachers are laughing so hard they’re in tears! The math staff is dancing behind him! People are cheering! The young man pulls his jacket off, and the crowd cheers even louder! Then at one point, the young man falls to his knees while he sings, and they drape his jacket over him! Two football players actually come out and do the “We’re Not Worthy!” kneel as he totally hams it up in front of the crowd. 

Yes, I’m a ham. Yes I totally enjoyed it.  Yes, shame and I have absolutely nothing to do with each other anymore.  Yes, I did it all for the kids.

We had a few technical difficulties.  It got so bad that we actually cut the song off early.  But the kids loved it, and it’s the most fun I’ve had at school in a long time.  Would most people do it?  Absolutely not.  Would I do it again?

Oh, you better believe it.

I’m now officially a member of the girl scouts.  As a matter of fact, not only…Ok, stop laughing.  No seriously, stop it.  Oh come on…..at least let me finish….ya done? 

All right, now, as I was saying, not only am I a member of the Girl Scouts of America, I’m now an assistant troop leader.  To quote Pushing Daisies, “The facts are these:”

Amanda had asked 3 different people to assist her with the troop.  All 3 said that they would.  Then all three proceeded to back out.  This left Amanda as the only adult watching a bunch of 6 and 7 year olds.  The director of the area told her that if she got even one more girl in the troop, they wouldn’t be able to meet.  She had to have an assistant troop leader.  So this woman said, “There is one other thing that you can do.  If you can talk your husband into signing up as an assistant troop leader and being at the meetings, then there won’t be a problem.”  So in the interest of my daughter and my wife, I stepped up. 

There, now I’m done.  As you were.